just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
