rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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