Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
