Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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