Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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