What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize