So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
