he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
bring money and cleavage
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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