No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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