She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
