i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
