that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize