Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
