It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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