Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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