so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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