i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
