im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
