imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.