Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??