so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.