i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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