: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
