how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
