Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
