Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You pole danced in your parka.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
