I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
