Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
