okay pat passed out under dana's car
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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