Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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