so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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