If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize