ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize