omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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