There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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