whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
