why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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