Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
