i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
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My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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