I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
