Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
