he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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