i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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