You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
