i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
