And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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