Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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