I'm really into asian looking animals
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
