New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is it penis luge time yet?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
