Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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