so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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