I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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