our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
