Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
