i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
