Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We need to rekindle our bromance
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
