then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize