She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
