i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
