Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
