I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
