Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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