I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
