so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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