ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
