I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize