No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
